I want to write. I live a very solitary, quiet life and at the end of the day and especially at the completion of a painting, I have so many thoughts and no one to share them with. So we’ll see how this goes. Unfortunately I also struggle with so much self-doubt and fear of rejection. So putting words out to the universe can be a painful task.

When I set up this still life I was afraid. The teapot seemed so beyond me, so difficult and complicated. At the end of the journey I feel absolutely liberated because I no longer hold thoughts of too difficult in my head. I’ve reached a beautiful plateau in my skills where I no longer look at the painting in front of me an evaluate the struggle I’m facing. I simply pick up the brush and start from the beginning.

Along the way there is always so much doubt. Towards the beginning of the work there is the so called ‘ugly stage’ and oh my lord it felt so ugly. I didn’t think anything beautiful could come out of this. I no longer saw the vision I’d had of a bright, vibrant piece of work. I was frustrated and wanted to give up. Thankfully by sticking with the method of picking up the brush and painting the next bit and the next bit and the next bit, the painting I saw in my mind began to emerge.

Today at the finish I am so hopeful and so excited to move forward. I’m on a high where I want to assemble the most complicated still life I can! And while I’m not going to, I am celebrating this huge milestone in my confidence. Achieving this level of painting has been a long held dream of mine that I feared was too far out of my reach. Slowly but surely my grandmother always said.

I’m celebrating growth and celebrating potential. I’m so grateful for the foundation I’ve worked so hard to build. I am grateful for the time and space to paint.

I even included composition lines via the fabric. Starting to pay attention to detail!